In response to my announcement that due to ill health I am stepping down as Rector of Kirklington, Burneston, Wath and Pickhill many people have expressed their kind concern, and several have also contacted me privately to ask about my faith – how do I still trust in God? I wrote the following to one such inquiry and as that person found it useful I thought others might too. Writing it most likely helped me.
In 1 Corinthians 2:16 Paul asks, 'Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct Him?'
Our minds are the size of a children's shoe box, the mind of God is infinite. We should not expect to always understand, if we did we would have found someone or something less than God.
But that's not the whole story, we have Jesus.
In Colossians 1:15 Paul writes that 'Jesus is the image of the invisible God', Jesus is God's great self-explanation. Jesus enables us to understand God enough, not completely, but enough to trust Him.
We wonder if God cares, the crucifixion answers that, for us and for our sake Jesus was willing to endure death. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit are as one, from the beginning, through the incarnation and even at the cross. God died the death of a shamed slave.
As the hymn writer says,
And can it be that I should gain
An int’rest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain?
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! how can it be
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
We also wonder if God is strong enough to help us, the Resurrection answers that. When the author of life came face to face with death and submitted to destruction all Creation held its breath to see if darkness would triumph. As Jesus stepped out of the tomb all creation could see definitively and forever that light is stronger than darkness.
Paul writes in Romans 8:38&39 that because of what Jesus did for us we can know, "... that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
I do not understand all the ways and acts of God but I know more than enough to trust Him, more than enough to know He loves me. Through the Holy Spirit in prayer and praise, in bible reading, in fellowship with other Christians, in acts of kindness, in moments of truth, and in the wonder of creation, I can experience that love.
Having asked "Who has known the mind of the Lord?" Paul answers his own question, he writes, "but we have the mind of Christ". The more we get to know Jesus the more we can understand God, the more we love selflessly, serve others, care for creation, seek justice, love mercy, then the more we can catch a glimpse of what God is about.
So I don't understand why it is that God has brought me to this place, but I trust Him. I trust Him more than I trust myself - far more. I trust Him enough to tell Him in prayer that I am hurt and angry. I trust Him enough to accept my pain may serve some purpose even if I have to wait until that day I stand naked of pretence before Him to comprehend what that purpose is, but if Jesus suffered for me it is an honour to be asked to suffer for God's purposes.
At the moment I have more questions about my future than answers, but I know God is present there.
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